Lesson Four
      Fables of Forgiveness
My suffering with unforgiveness lasted for over 11 years. I didn’t know
what forgiveness was for me not the one I was so angry with.   Till I
went to a healing workshop had no idea what that was and why I was
even going.  Isn’t God Good he knew I needed just that.  The main
theme was forgiveness and I forgave that day, by Dad by self and by
boyfriend, the doctor.   I told my secret to  eight total strangers and
been telling it ever since.   Secrets are the enemies best ways to keep
us in bondage.

Then I  found out that Jesus suffered for me on the cross so I didn’t
have to any more.   I found a relationship with Jesus and He did love
me and forgave me as far as the east is from the west.  Tell me,  “How
far is that ?” Maybe you have another area and you need to hear that
God does forgive you as far is the east is from the west.     I forgave my
Dad, my self, baby’s father and doctor…     And my whole life turned
around.  In the Word it says when the Son has set you free you are free
indeed.  Well I am FREE……


Many fail to forgive, because they do not understand the benefit of forgiveness.  Forgiveness
is between you and God.  

To forgive means that you decided to leave the punishment for what was done to you up to
God.  It means that you decided to stop punishing other people, or yourself.  It means that
you decided to not seek revenge.  It means that you decided to move beyond the hurts and
get on with your life.  It means that you will trust God to take care of it and that you believe the
Word will set you free.   God’s ways are higher than our ways.

Fable #1:   “If I forgive, then I will be hurt again, and that means what was done to me is
OK.”

Truth #1:  Forgiveness is NOT going to hurt you; it does NOT mean that what happened to
you was alright.

Unforgiveness doesn’t protect you; it hurts you.  You think if you hold unto bitterness you will
be protected.  Protected from what?  The total opposite is true.  Pain is a part of life;
sometimes in life bad things happen to good people.   Forgiveness is set up for you to be
set free and not tied to your past.  Freedom from your past is what helps you have a future.

Jesus never overlooks sin as if it is OK.  You don’t have to either.  What happened to you is
not alright!  Forgiveness means that you are willing to allow God to deal the punishment to
your offender.   


Fable #2:  “If I forgive, then I will have to trust them or like being with them; or, I will need
to confront my offender(s) to show that I have really forgiven them”

Truth #2:   Forgiveness does not mean that you have to trust that person or spend time
with that person.  Forgiveness is not the same as confrontation of your offender(s).
Confrontation is an entirely different issue than forgiveness.   


People need to earn trust.  Depending on your situation, you may never be able to trust this
person.  Learning to set good boundaries is always an important step.   
Confrontation must take place with careful and prayerful consideration, with the counsel of
mature Christians, when you are safe and ready. Confrontation is not required for
forgiveness to take place.   Keep in mind, forgiveness is for your freedom.  



Fable #3: “Unforgiveness has no impact on how I deal with my life.  To forgive is to
forget.””

Truth #3:  Unforgiveness binds you to the past by focusing your attention on your hurts.
Keep in mind that only God has the ability to forgive and forget.

You define yourself by the hurts, memories, and your bitterness.  Your memories are the
part of your history; they will always be there without the pain of the event after your healing
and walking through forgiveness.  You cannot change your history; but, if you dwell on this
over and over, this is called stinking thinking.  Looking back will not let you move forward.   
You keep the memory of your hurts alive by nursing and rehearsing these same old what if’s
in life.  What if’s will never help you forget the past or move on.  What if’s are the plan of the
enemy to keep you right where you are as you continue  thinking  how your offender(s)
should pay for what they have done.    The offender(s) is the center piece of your life.  It’s like
an IV that feeds poison to your mind, your emotions, your spirit, and your relationships.  
Unforgiveness means that you allow the offenses to dominate your life and continue to
damage you.


Fable #4: “I don’t have to forgive my offender(s).”  - or -  “ My offender(s) will have to
make things right with me before I can forgive them.”


Truth #4:  Forgiveness is an important part of Christianity.  Forgiveness is a decision.  It is
the focal point of the Christian faith.  Your offender(s) do not deserve your forgiveness,
anymore than you deserve God’s forgiveness.  

Matthew 6: 14 –15.
14  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.



Bitterness will bind your heart and not let you freely pursue Him.   If you don‘t pursue God
with all of your heart, then you won’t find the freedom that Jesus died for.  When you follow
Jesus with ALL of your heart, free from bitterness, then you are free to repent of your sins
and change your life to glorify God.  Such freedom brings one such peace.

Any actions of your offender(s) to make things right with you have NOTHING to do with
forgiveness.  If your offender(s) take responsibility for what they did to you, that is great; but, it
still has NOTHING to do with forgiveness.  Forgiveness is between you and God.  There is
no way an offender can compensate you for the offense you experienced.  The offender is
part of the history, and so is the damage that was done.  By recognizing how unworthy you
and your offenders are of being forgiven, you can leave the punishment up to God.  Can any
of us pay for our sins?

Even if your offender(s) gave you a check for a $1 million to make up for what they did to you,
would it undo what they did?  


Fable #5:  “Forgiveness has no impact on my relationship with God.”

Truth #5:  You need to ask God to forgive you for your unforgiveness and bitterness.

Unforgiveness means that you have not trusted God to administer justice.  By taking
responsibility for your own sin, you lift the penalty off yourself.  You leave the responsibility for
the sins committed against you between the offender(s) and God.  What they do with their
sin is up to them.  You are the one set free!

Finally, I recognize that I allowed my offender(s) to take something from me or hurt me
without my permission. Bitterness means that I have given them the rest of my life with my
permission.  Is this really worth it in the end?  Do I want to let my offender(s) have this much
control over me?   Or is it easier for me to do it God’s way to let go, forgive and find God’s
freedom like you never have before.  Peace will come; you will truly know the meaning of
Godly forgiveness.  


Get in a quiet place or do this with a trusting, mature, Christian friend.  Ask the Holy Spirit
to help you make a list of everyone you need to forgive? Add #’s as needed.   

1.
2.
3.  

Go back over the list; forgive each person for what they have done to you. Pray for each
person by using the example below.  You will find the freedom Jesus has for you in
forgiveness.   Don’t forget to forgive yourself for your part as well.

Example:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I forgive____________________________for _________________________ .  I release
them in Jesus’ Name.   
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